Fandom: MCU
Pairings/characters: Bucky Barnes x reader, mention of Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson
Words: 2388

Summary:
Bucky finds something belonging to his girlfriend and it leads to questions, confessions and dirty ideas. (Sort of a request.)

 "Doll? Can you come in here for a minute?" Bucky called out, holding something in his hand that had made a small smirk erupt on his face, a million ideas racing through his mind. Her footsteps came closer and he contemplated hiding the item behind his back for a bit but decided against it.

"What's up?" she asked as she came past the door and when she got a look at what he held in his hands, she stopped short, eyes wide and dread written all over her face. "Why-how-you-what is that?"

"I was hoping you could tell me, doll." Bucky was turning a pink shiny rabbit vibrator around in his hands, examining it, a small smirk still adorning his face. "Found it when I put away laundry."

"I have never seen that thing before in my life."

He looked up at her then, one eyebrow raised in challenge. "I think you have."

She stared at him for a moment, and then gave up. She grabbed it from his hands and put it back into the drawer where he had found it. Then she sat down on the bed. "You were away on a very long mission. I missed you and I had needs. I tried..." She raised her hands in explanation and then folded them in her lap. "But... I don't know. So, I thought maybe that would be better. But..."

Something in her voice and the way she avoided looking at him, made Bucky frown and all the naughty thoughts he'd gotten when he found it was gone from his mind. He sat down on the bed next to her and took her hands in his. "Doll, what's going on? Are we not okay in the bedroom?"

"No, no, we're fine! We're good, we're great," she exclaimed, finally looking at him. "I just..." She took a deep breath and looked down at their hands clasped together. "I feel ashamed."

Bucky's heart broke a little at the tone of her voice, but she continued before he had time to say anything.

"It's not something we were open about in my family, sexuality and stuff like that. It was a non-topic. Didn't exist. If it were to come up in some way, it was quickly shut down. And my friends and I never really talked about it either and it all just... I feel ashamed."

When she didn't say anything more, Bucky enquired. "But we've had sex... who knows how many times. And you've always seemed to enjoy it?"

"I was uncomfortable to begin with." She looked up at him through her lashes, gauging his reaction. "But I feel safe with you. "

"I hope I didn't do anything to make you feel like you had to, like I forced you into it?"

"No, no, I wanted to. With you, I always do. It's just after that I always... But because you're you and I love you and you make me feel good and I want to make you feel good, it started feeling more natural."

Bucky smiled a bit, that warmed his heart. "But does it hurt when you play with yourself? Or is it just the shame?"

"I come fine, and all that. But the happy is replaced with immediate regret when I'm done. Like I've done something I shouldn't, something that isn't allowed. Something I don't deserve. And I just don't do it for a while."

Bucky nodded again and then turned to face her, making her look at him. "I wasn't all that comfortable masturbating either at first, sweetheart. Or, I'm a guy, so I've been grabbing myself since I found out how it worked. But it wasn't really something that people liked to talk about way back when, it was sort of taboo. And it was a shock finding out how much freer people are now with their sexuality and everything that comes with it when I was in my own mind again. So, I can relate a bit.

"But I don't want you to feel ashamed about anything that makes you feel good. And if there's anything I've learned in the modern world, is that it's healthy to do it. You learn what feels good for you, and then you can teach me how to make you feel even better. It's just as natural as when we have sex together, to have sex with yourself."

She didn't look convinced, but Bucky knew that he couldn't turn her mind around in five seconds, not about something like this. He made a humming noise and then he got up and found the vibrator again, sitting down facing her again and holding the pink shiny rabbit between them and she scoffed down at the thing.

"How about this, doll? There's a thing I've heard about, that I've wanted to try with you anyway. Mutual masturbation." That caught her attention and she looked up into his eyes. "I have jacked off to memories of you many times during missions or when you've been away or..." He grinned sheepishly. "Once in the shower because I had a dream about you and you were still sleeping and I didn't want to wake you. I'd love to try it with you."

She just kept staring at him and Bucky was starting to feel nervous about his suggestion, maybe he had made it worse suggesting this. But since she wasn't running out of the room, he mustered up some courage and kept going.

"Maybe we don't have to start with this toy, but you use your hands and I use my hand and we watch each other and tell each other what we like about what we're seeing and maybe give each other ideas to explore further. And then when you're ready, you can use this toy. I have to admit, it turns me on imagining you using it on yourself. Or even just touching yourself."

She was still quietly staring at him, but when Bucky thought he couldn't handle the suspense any longer, her lips twitched into a small smile and she nodded. "We can try that."

He breathed a sigh of relief and his metal hand slid up and into her hair, and he moved in for a kiss, then leaned his forehead against hers. "I'll show you that there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, doll. Nothing. I'll teach you just how okay masturbation is. And show you how much you deserve every second of it."

They hadn't planned it at all. It was just an ordinary day. Bucky was supposed to go running with Sam and Steve at the crack of dawn, but when he woke up with her snuggled so close, her deep breaths fanning across his face, her arm draped across his torso and one leg tangled with his, he had carefully reached for his phone on the bedside table.

You all run without me, I'm a bit tangled up in something else.

He heard his phone vibrate twice almost at the same time a couple of minutes later, probably with a one-syllable answer from Steve – he was not a texter – and something about betrayal from Sam.

Bucky took a deep breath, inhaling her warm scent and then went back to sleep. It was a good day to sleep in.

He wasn't sure for how long he had slept, but he woke up from something that was tickling his face. He blinked a few times and whatever it was that tickled him stopped. Turning his head slightly, he saw her awake, smiling. Her hand was hovering above his face and she laid it down on his chest again.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," she said. Something in her eyes told him she wasn't sorry at all, and then he became aware of his raging boner and her thigh right up against it, no doubt having rubbed against him.

"Is that your doing, doll?" he asked and nodded towards the boner clearly tenting the covers.

"Oh no, you were already well on your way when I woke up."

Bucky leaned in for a soft good morning kiss, lingering a little, making her hum and lean into him even more than she already was. Feeling every inch of her against him like that, made him reach down under the covers to grab his cock. Her eyes moved down to watch the cover move as he gently stroked himself.

"James," she whispered, her voice needy.

"You like it when I do that, doll?"

"Yes." And to prove her point, she slid her own hand under the covers and Bucky thought his heart was going to stop when her fingers dipped into between her labia and he heard how wet she was. He had never seen her touch herself like that, and it was a huge turn on, even if they were both still covered.

"Your fingers feel good, sweetheart?" Bucky squeezed himself lightly, imagining how it would look with her hands between her legs.

"Not as good as yours, handsome."

He chuckled and saw her arm tense and move as she stroked and felt herself. "Can I see?"

She hesitated for a bit but then nodded. Bucky slowly pulled the covers off her with his free arm and was near salivating as the sight that was revealed. Her chest rising and falling quicker than normal, one hand wedged between her legs. She rolled onto her back and then separated her thighs, letting Bucky see more. See how two of her fingers circled her clit, everything glistening.

"Not fair that you can see me, but I can't see you." She glanced at him, one eyebrow raised. He chuckled and pulled the covers off himself too and let it fall to the floor, moving so they both had a clear view of each other. Her eyes were glued to where his hand was slowly stroking his cock. "That's better," she whispered and slid her fingers down to her entrance, circling it, but not entering.

"Wishing that was my cock?"

"Yes... Want your cock, James."

Bucky felt a surge of pleasure run through his body at the way his name sounded with her throaty voice. He rolled his thumb over the head of his cock, smearing the precum around. He must have been hard for a while before waking up because he didn't think he was going to last long with the show he was getting. "Fuck, you look so beautiful touching yourself, doll. Do you see how hard you're making me?"

Her hand was working faster, sliding over her clit with a wet sound, her other hand clutching at the mattress. "Bucky... Want you, please."

"Oh no, doll... I'm going to watch you come by your own hands. Watch you pleasure yourself." Bucky was breathing harshly, trying to hold himself back so she could indeed come first. "Watch your beautiful face when you come. Will you do that for me, sweetheart?"

"Only for you, James."

He could see she was close too, saw her walls starting to flutter. "Are you imagining it's my hands? My cock?"

"Yes... You always know how to work me up."

"Show me. Show me how I do it. Show me what you would want me to do with you."

She moved her fingers frantically on her clit, eyes fluttering closed. Her other hand scrambled from the grip it had on the mattress and reached for Bucky. He stilled his own stroking and loosened his grip, so he could hold her hand with his free one. Their fingers laced together and she gripped him hard. "I'm coming, James."

"So beautiful, doll." His eyes roamed over her body, from her parted lips and fluttering eyes, to her heaving chest, to the glistening heat he would have loved to call home. "I'm so hard watching you..."

And then her body arched off the bed, she squeezed his hand tighter than he thought she was capable of, a choked moan coming from deep in her stomach.

"Fuck, doll..." Bucky started stroking himself again, he needed to come. The sight of her was too much, he was almost trembling, he needed the release. "See what you do to me? See how much pleasure watching you brought me?" He was leaking, hard veins running up and down his cock. She had come down from her high, but her fingers were still between her slit, slowly rolling her clit, her body twitching a bit. "I'm gonna come, doll. I'm gonna come from watching you get yourself off."

"Come on, James. Wanna see it."

That was it. He let out a long groan, trying not to crush her hand still in his, ropes of come spurting from his cock, landing on his stomach. It was probably the strongest orgasm he'd had at his own hands since he could remember. He leant his head back and took several deep breaths and then looked down at the mess he made of himself. "All for you, doll," he chuckled.

She hummed. Then she let go of his hand and shimmied a bit further down the bed. He shifted so he could grab the box of tissues from the bedside drawer to clean himself up and then he pulled the covers up from the floor and let it cover them both as he laid down next to her.

"How are you feeling, doll?"

She took a few seconds in answering, looking at her hands folded on top of the covers. "Not great. It felt good when I came, and I enjoyed watching you. But..."

"But still feeling the shame?"

She nodded, and she still didn't look at him. Bucky laid his arms around her and pulled her close. "I want to try again though. You seemed to like it, so I think it's worth trying again."

"Liked it? I loved it! I can't remember the last time I came so hard jacking off."

She smiled shyly and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

They lay in silence for a while. Bucky's hands stroking her back and her arms and her hair. Her legs tangled with his again, arm across his stomach.

"Hey, weren't you supposed to go running with Steve and Sam today?" she asked after a while.

"Meh. Figured I'd have more fun in bed with you. I wasn't wrong."