This makes it easier.

For nearly two months now, Remus and I had been sneaking off to his room after every Order meeting we had both been at and almost every time I had visited headquarters for whatever reason. I had not had the pleasure of him fucking the full moon on me again – I had visited Grimmauld Place a couple of days before the last full moon, but he had been out taking advantage of the situation to get in with a werewolf pack up in Wales, one we knew was likely to side with You-Know-Who.

The memory of how feral he had seemed and how he'd bitten me was strong in me, and I wanted so bad to experience it again I felt like humping air when I thought about it.

When had I become such a sex starving scarlet woman?

I had thought a lot about the raw attraction we felt towards each other and hadn't been able to really explain it until he straight out asked me one day in the middle of November.

Remus pulled out of me and rolled onto his side of the bed. I laid an arm above my eyes, trying to catch my breath. My mind was blissfully empty, no more thoughts about the tiring day I'd had at Azkaban, where we were in the middle of setting up the last ward. All I could feel was the empty but satisfied feeling in my entire body. Until I felt a warm, calloused hand gently moving up and down my other arm.

I discreetly lifted the arm above my eyes a fraction and looked down. This was unusually intimate of him. Yeah, we were having sex, but this was not a relationship. And that action was very relationship-like. Was this a relationship? I sighed quietly and moved both my arms up and crossed them under my head.

And as if Remus had read my mind: "What is this? Us?"

I gazed up at the ceiling for a moment before answering with the first thing that came to mind: "Sex. Good sex."

Remus chuckled. I looked at him. He had a smug expression on his face. "Good sex," he confirmed.

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Mr Lupin."

"Not possible."

A few long moments went by. We just laid there, not looking at each other, my mind analysing the past couple of months.

Good sex was an understatement. Remus knew exactly what he was doing and then some. I wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. I hoped it didn't mean he slept around a lot, but he didn't seem like the type. I wasn't either, because my friends-with-benefits relationship with Connell aside, I had only had one proper relationship since I started at Azkaban seven years ago. No one wanted to be with the witch who worked alongside Dementors, not even for one night. My job freaked them out. They all thought I had a fetish for death and depression.

But I had managed fine on my own. Keeping to myself, channelling everything into work. Until... the war.

"An outlet," I mumbled. It was obvious. Being with Remus made me feel lighter, less chilled to the bone. Sex with him warmed me up from the inside and emptied my mind, and that made it easier to handle the fears I had repressed for years before the war started bringing them all back to the surface.

"What?"

"An outlet," I repeated. "For... everything."

Remus raised himself up on his elbow, resting his head in his hand. He gazed down at me, his face grave. "An outlet," he confirmed.

It fit when one thought about most of our times together. The war had made my glass overflow. Feeling everything, truly feeling, I couldn't afford it. Remus proved to be an able outlet. All our fears and concerns and worry manifested themselves as sexual energy when we were in the same room together. We took comfort in each other. Sex was all we – anyone – could afford right now.

As if to prove my point, my brain sent a shiver through my body and my breath caught in my throat. Remus was on the alert immediately. But before he could do anything, I rose up, pushed him down and straddled him. I leaned down and kissed him hard, forcing my tongue into his mouth, while grinding my naked sweaty body against his. Needing him to harden again, needing to feel him inside me again. My breasts rubbed against his scarred chest and I ground my core back and forth over his cock.

He started growing against my slickness, and I thanked the stars he reacted so quickly. He held his cock steady and without disrupting my rhythm he entered me easily and we both gasped at the connection. I pushed down, getting him fully inside me and stayed still for a moment. Our eyes locked. His amber ones were intense and there was something wild there.

Needing friction, I raised myself up, put my hands on his chest, and felt him go even deeper when I sat down. He was so delicious like this, deep in me and his face contorted in pleasure. I started to move again, still looking into his eyes. The evidence of our previous climax made it slick and easy but didn't scratch the itch as well and I moved with more desperation.

Remus put one hand on my hips, helping me keep a more controlled rhythm, and the other hand went to my breast, massaging in time with my movements. A particularly hard squeeze made me whine and fall forwards slightly, breaking my pace. Both his hands grabbed my hips now and his mouth took the opportunity to latch onto one of my breasts, sucking hard. Then he moved back, teeth pulling at my nipple and I felt myself gush around his cock.

I let him take complete control and moved only the way he guided me. His lips caught my other breast, biting and sucking hard on it. My bundle of nerves rubbed against him from this position, and combined with every scratch of his teeth on my nipples, it sent jolts of electricity through my body. The orgasm washed over me before I realised how close it was and I wailed like a banshee. My entire body shivered and I grabbed a hold of his arms to not fall over and dug my nails into his biceps.

Through half closed eyes, I saw Remus gazing at me. He hadn't come with me like he had done earlier that night, and I looked questioningly down at him. He only smirked. He had explained about his short or non-existent refractory period close before the full moon, but it was three weeks until the next one. I licked my lips, as if I'd tasted my favourite pudding, and rode him with more fervour – wondering how many times I could come before he did. I raked my nails up and down his chest, squeezed him as tight as I could, but he would have none of that.

Instead, he put one finger on my clit, and I came again.

I'm not sure how long we were at it, but we were both drenched, and my entire body was feeling like jelly. I used my last strength and took both his hands in mine and held them above his chest. Riding with all I had left in me. He met my thrusts so hard we were lifted off the bed, the sound of skin slapping against skin loud in the room, drowning out our gasps.

He was about to use his mouth on me again, but before he got that far, I leant down to give him a quick kiss and then biting down on his shoulder. Turned out he liked that as much as I liked him biting me, because he flipped us around, making me squeal. His weight pushed me down into the mattress and he thrust fast and desperate. I wrapped my legs around him and tossed my head back as he reached that spot in me. I came so hard I couldn't make a sound. Then Remus buried his face in my neck as he finally came.

My mind didn't return to earth until we were both lying side by side again, breaths slowly coming back to normal. I had that feeling in my throat as if I'd run hard in cold weather, but my thoughts were peaceful.

"An outlet," Remus said, his voice flat.

I looked at him. I couldn't read his face, so I just hummed in response. "I should get going. I need to get to sleep so I'll be able to get up in time tomorrow, a lot to do still before setting up the final ward."

Remus didn't say anything, just nodded. I rolled out of bed and got dressed, feeling his eyes on me the whole time. When I fastened my cloak, I stopped and looked down at him barely covered by the sheets we had rolled around in.

"Do you know what would happen if I let my fears get the best of me?" I asked. There was something about the way he was behaving since we came down from our highs that made me need to explain. He frowned at me and shook his head. "I'd be a target. I'd be a feast for the Dementors. I can't let myself be afraid. I need to control it. I was so good at it, but this war has... made that hard. This..." I moved my hand back and forth between us a couple of times. "Makes it easier."

For a long time, we looked at each other. I don't know if I wanted him to say anything to reassure me or comfort me, or anything. Because the flatness of his voice earlier made it feel like he wanted to end what we were doing, and that made a slightly different kind of anxiety poke at my heart.

"Until next time," he then said, the faintest of smiles on his lips.

I breathed out in relief and smiled back. "Until next time."